Big Beard Dog:

No-one really knows Big Beard Dog. Seen only in public wearing a series of shit disguises (a bit like The Residents), Big Beard is often described as a Svengali character, controlling the minds of the weaker band members (the other four, not including me) through his behind-the-scenes evil.

Big Beard Dog's bizarre non-smoking, non-drinking, non-drug-taking, non meat-eating lifestyle has led to speculation that he's just a boring beardy bastard. However, such a judgement would be foolhardy

Perhaps the biggest clue to Bearded Tel's true nature is revealed in this shot of him resplendent in pristine white hat, cuddled up in a shawl with his man-friend, Dick O'Penfold, somewhere in Hampshire